October 2013 by Andrew E.
Visiting any Kelly's off Licence in Liverpool is a bit hit and miss when it comes to the morale of the staff ( or lack of it ). I am pretty certain that the Job description clearly states the following... all applicants must have sullom sunken faces of misery with a total blank and negative facial expression, applicants must also have a natural ability to make the customers feel worse about life when they leave the shop than when they came in, to the point of contemplating suicide... experience preferred, but training will be given. Although I go into these off-licences only occasionally, non the less I can say that the majority of the staff I have been served by have given the impression they have been trained at the gestapo school of charm before commencing employment at Kelly's Wines, In fact I an sure it's a requirement for the position !!. I would not be surprised to find out that it is a strict rule of employment that any member of staff seen smiling and being polite to customers will be sacked immediately. Walking into Kelly's wines is like falling into a dark Abyss of Negativity and has more in common with a medieval torture chamber, both in the way it looks and the way it makes you feel. Architecturally speaking, both inside and out, Kelly's Neighbourhood off-licences I believe are more suited to other parts of the world such as Irac ( post war ), The Peoples Democratic republic of Congo, and mainly developing countries. Finally, Kelly's Wines are not like your typical local Neighbourhood off-licences, who are generally more attentive to customers and glad to be alive, along with a better service overall. In fact Kelly's Wines is more of a niche brand and proud of it's heritage of treating customers as badly and un polite as possible, Yes Kelly's Wines are a different kind of off-licence who believe in giving a different kind of service !!! Andrew from Liverpool.
